You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
