he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
