you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
