Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
