Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
