home. puking in laundry basket.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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