just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
