I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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