I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
