Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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