What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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