the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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