Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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