Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
