Too much gin, very little bucket
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Randomize
