I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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