capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
