Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Drunk is not a location!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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