She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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