one two three fourrrrnication!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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