Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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