Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
