Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
