There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
