So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Welp...herpes.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
