she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
