ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
