Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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