can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
