so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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