The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
