Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
