There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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