sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
