I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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