she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
