We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
