in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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