Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
