So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
