you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
