How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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