Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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