he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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