grandma shit on top of the toilet
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
