i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
