eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
