sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
