So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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