It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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