I'm drive I can fine osifer
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
