put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
