Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
